Holding Onto My Man: Chapter 31

The silhouette of departure gives off a heartache sensation. From that day on, Gu Bai would be brought into the palace every now and then, and every time he came back, he would appear weak and vulnerable, followed by various rewards from the Crown Prince and the Fu family’s business thriving. Mr. Fu was delighted, Du Haitang seemed to understand something, with a pale face she wanted to ask her son but caught Gu Bai writing something. “Mother, why did you suddenly come…” Gu Bai quickly hid the poetry collection he was writing. “What are you hiding, let me see…” Du Haitang, seeing his unusual expression, snatched the stuff from his hand. Despite being of humble origins, she could read. After flipping through the poetry collection, tears welled up in her eyes, and she hugged Gu Bai in crying. “Boo hoo, my foolish son, why don’t you learn to be as silly as your mother was back then, boo hoo…” And Fu Junli looked more and more melancholic, Gu Bai could sense the brewing atmosphere. On the night before he entered the palace again, he hugged him and cried silently for a while before saying softly, “Brother Junli, Prince Lianzhi will be back soon…” After saying that, he ran quickly, leaving Fu Junli standing there dumbfounded for quite a while, afraid to consider what the teenager meant by that. It wasn’t until the next night, when the horse carriage returning home was occupied by not the young man, but another figure he was familiar with, that he understood. “His Royal Highness appreciates Du Xiaogongzi’s talent very much and wants Xiaogongzi to stay in the palace for a while… This is His Highness’s reward to Mr. Fu, your beauty…” The accompanying eunuch finished explaining and left, leaving Fu Junli standing there dumbfounded. “It’s all your fault, all because of you! If it wasn’t for you, how could my son be so foolish, boo hoo, look at yourself, it’s all your fault, accompanying a lord is like accompanying a tiger, when will my son be able to come back, boo hoo…” Du Haitang’s crying suddenly rang out, regardless of offending him, she dragged him to Gu Bai’s room, pulled out a poetry collection, threw it in his face, and cried accusingly. Fu Junli picked up the poetry collection from the ground and looked through it. After reading a few pages, he suddenly stood still as if he had lost his soul on the spot. Chapter 36 Fu Junli slowly opened the book with the words “poetry collection” written on it, and the snowy white paper was covered with elegant ink. There were no remarkable works on it, just simple words about feelings, without rhymes, without literary devices, just ordinary words. “…Today I finally saw the Eldest Young Master, he is still so handsome and elegant, not cold and terrifying as rumored, but very gentle. He even hugged me, in such a warm embrace that I dare not speak…” “He praised my eyes, many people say my eyes are beautiful, but I have never been so happy. He asked me if I liked orchids, I said yes…actually, I don’t like orchids, I just saw the orchids blooming in his yard and guessed that he liked orchids, that’s why I used the fragrance of orchids, I wanted to talk to him, but never had the chance, I thought of him since the first day I saw him in the mansion…” “The Eldest Young Master actually asked me to stay in his yard to recuperate, he even let me stay in his yard, he told me to call him Brother Junli, why is he so gentle to me?…No, he’s not being gentle to me, it should be to someone named ‘Lianzhi,’ that day he seemed to be murmuring the name ‘Lianzhi’…” “…Today the weather is good, Brother Junli is in a very good mood, and asked someone to set up a guqin in the yard. He is indeed a talented person, with a bright and elegant temperament, and unparalleled gracefulness…I mustered the courage to invite him to play the guqin together with me, I have imagined this scene countless times in my dreams, but when I played the xiao, he didn’t play the guqin, Brother Junli looked at me, his eyes became blurry, as if looking at another person… Suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my chest, so I hurriedly left…” “Who exactly is this person named Lianzhi? Who is he to Brother Junli? Do we look alike? Why does Brother Junli always murmur that name while looking into my eyes, as if looking at another person…He treats me well, is gentle to me, because he sees me as Lianzhi?…” “Brother Junli treats me as a shadow, a shadow of Lianzhi. If it weren’t for Lianzhi, he probably wouldn’t even glance at me in his lifetime, but I am Yunxi, not Lianzhi, I am Yunxi, I like red clothes, I like the fragrance of incense, I like the sound of the xiao…” “…Today Brother Junli told me who Lianzhi is, he is an extraordinary and elegant lord, deeply in love with Brother Junli, unwilling to regret loosening the belt for him, devoting himself tirelessly for the sake of his beloved, Brother Junli has thought about that lord for a full eight years…” “…Brother Junli asked me: enter my longing heart, know my bitter longing, long long longing, short longing endless, Yunxi, do you understand?…” “I said I understand, I understand, I really understand…from the moment I entered the mansion and saw Brother Junli for the first time, I understood, Brother Junli, Yunxi unexpectedly felt such shameless thoughts towards you…” “…Lianzhi appeared, today at the palace banquet, I saw the Lianzhi that Brother Junli mentioned, he is truly an extraordinary lord, no wonder Brother Junli misses him so much…” “Brother Junli looks at Lianzhi with such a gentle and gentle gaze, full of the friendship I have always dreamt of, just that he loves Lianzhi, loves Lianzhi, loves Lianzhi…if only he could love me too…” “On the carriage, Brother Junli looks very sad, yes, although he found Lianzhi, Lianzhi is the prince’s person, the prince’s identity is noble, how can Brother Junli have a chance to compete with the prince for the beauty…” “I wanted to persuade Brother Junli to give up, but I couldn’t bring myself to say it. Brother Junli’s deep affection for Lianzhi, he searched for Lianzhi for eight years, if he can’t be with Lianzhi, will he continue to be unhappy, continue to long for him…” “Perhaps I can help him…at the banquet, the prince looked at me with strange eyes, I guessed he must have taken a fancy to me. If I go and beg the prince, perhaps Brother Junli and Lianzhi will have a chance…” “…Today entering the palace, I asked the prince to gift Lianzhi to Brother Junli. The prince agreed, but the condition was that I had to be his person…then, I took off my clothes, it’s okay, as long as Brother Junli can have his wish, he used to treat me as Lianzhi’s shadow, now that the real Lianzhi has returned, the shadow is no longer needed…” “But I couldn’t help crying, I tried so hard to restrain myself, but couldn’t help it, I really wanted to tell him that I am not anyone’s shadow, don’t treat me as a shadow, don’t look through me to see others, I am Yunxi, Brother Junli, do you know? Do you know I am Yunxi…Yunxi admires you, but you don’t know, and you don’t want to know, right, because you only love Lianzhi…” “Brother Junli is getting sadder and sadder, is it because of Lianzhi, Brother Junli, rest assured, Lianzhi will be back soon, the prince promised me, he will give Lianzhi to you, putting an end to your lovesickness…” “Lovesickness lovesickness…the jade-like dice secure the red beans, lovesickness penetrates the bone but you are unaware, Brother Junli, you are unaware, you are unaware…” “…Fu Junli looked at the ink on the poetry collection, and the image of the smiling and charming youth appeared in his mind, feeling as if his heart was being twisted like a knife, the youth’s image in his heart has never been so clear before.”