“It’s not just you, Jaejin, who’s angry or furious. As for me, for twenty years, I had to live without Kwon Jaejin. I still thought I was okay because I didn’t know. I didn’t know what guiding was, what a guide was supposed to be…”
Seo Uiwoo looked intently into Kwon Jaejin’s eyes with a fervor that was boiling red. His heated gray irises were mixed with a myriad of emotions as though they were kneaded together.
“I feel so wronged. Jaejin, why did you have to be a mutant?”
“…….”
“Why did you only appear before me now?”
“…….”
“Couldn’t you have just been born a normal guide…? Like the other awakened ones, complete regular training, match up with me as a formal guide? Then I would have had a good life, like the common, dime-a-dozen espers, I would have enjoyed guiding with you freely, without any worries, and would never have tasted this kind of terrible feeling…”
Seo Uiwoo’s voice, which had been flowing calmly, grew increasingly fierce. His breathing became shaky and irregular.
“Kwon Jaejin… you are my guide.”
“…….”
“You’re supposed to take responsibility for me. That’s the duty of a guide.”
“…….”
“For twenty years, you left me alone! For twenty years, you left me by myself and stuck around with another human…”
“…….”
“A lover? A significant other? Don’t make me laugh. While that person was fumbling around Kwon Jaejin’s body, learning the location of moles, counting teeth, knowing everything inside out… I was being torn and ripped apart as routinely as breathing. And yet, you can’t erase that singular memory? You look at me with those eyes… as if I’m some hideous, monstrous thing devoid of humanity?”
Seo Uiwoo took sharp breaths, muttering as if in pain. His overall pale white face looked particularly bloodless, in stark contrast to his bitten lip that was reddened.
“Of course, I know it’s not your fault, Jaejin. I know it’s nobody’s fault. But I’m still angry. You erased all memories of Jaejin, and made it as if the past never existed. But sometimes when I ruminate, fury surges. If a mole catches my eye, or if I see neat rows of teeth… I would want to identify the other person and crush them to a bloody pulp until they’re dead…”
Seo Uiwoo fiercely ran his fingers through his tousled hair. As the hair swept back over his forehead, the wounds that he had sustained were revealed. Half-healed ears could be seen above the clear lines of his neck veins.
“Jaejin, don’t you think about me… at all? The turmoil inside me feels boiling, about to turn to rage, and have you not thought that I’ve been holding back, constantly biting my tongue, pretending to be fine, pretending to be okay?”
“…….”
“Don’t you ever think… even a little bit about what I feel!”
Seo Uiwoo ground his teeth fiercely, struggling greatly to suppress the immense force that kept wanting to burst free. He clung to the end of the force, shoving it down into the abyss. He seemed distorted from a normal state, his exertion visible in suppressing power that wanted to erupt unconsciously.
Seo Uiwoo shut his eyelids tightly and shivered with his straight neck.
After settling his agitated breath, he opened his eyes and gazed down at Jaejin with his glistening, gray eyes.
It was precarious as usual, Seo Uiwoo’s gray that was both cold and affectionate.
“Kwon Jaejin.”
Seo Uiwoo called out to Kwon Jaejin.
His voice was flat and dry.
“Am I still being too much?”
Kwon Jaejin couldn’t take his eyes off Seo Uiwoo’s wounds. The sight of the deeply cut skin healing and the newly formed ears taking place caused a stir of emotions within him.
“Is it not you, Jaejin… who’s done too much to me?”
It took Kwon Jaejin a long while of staring at Seo Uiwoo’s pale, pinkish-white ears before he conveyed deep, bubbling emotions through his eyes.
It hit the mark. Kwon Jaejin had not thought about Seo Uiwoo.
There was no time for that. His head was so full of his own thoughts that there was no room to spare for Seo Uiwoo. The situation was abrupt, and there was a lot of anguish over whether to erase memories or not.
✧˚·̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥·̩̩̥͙✧·̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥˚·̩̩̥͙✧ 𝑔𝓇𝒶𝓋𝒾𝓉𝓎𝓃𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓁𝓈 ✧˚·̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥·̩̩̥͙✧·̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥˚·̩̩̥͙✧
