#50
“I can’t guide you anymore. From today onwards, I won’t be your guide, Seo Yi-woo.”
“What did you say?”
Seo Yi-woo lifted his head silently. His gaze was fiercely intense.
“You said guiding is a guide’s duty. Until you restore my memory completely and take responsibility, I won’t fulfill that duty either. I can’t. After all, the reason you desperately want to keep me alive is because of that damned guiding. You always want guiding.”
“…What did you just say? Are you trying to see me get angry? Is that why you’re doing this?”
“It’s not exactly wrong, is it? I’ve just been ignoring it until now. If Kwon Jae-jin wasn’t Seo Yi-woo’s guide, if he wasn’t a mutant guide but an ordinary civilian, would you have paid any attention to me? What would that esteemed S-class Esper Seo Yi-woo have thought of Kwon Jae-jin if he wasn’t a guide? Would you have cared if I lived or died? No, you would’ve thought of my life as less significant than a piece of paper.”
“Ha… Stop it. I’m warning you. I’m really starting to get angry.”
Seo Yi-woo wiped his bleeding lower lip with a rough motion. When he rubbed it with the back of his hand, bright red blood smeared across his mouth.
Kwon Jae-jin knew Seo Yi-woo’s warning was sincere.
Even so, he did not stop provoking him.
“The reason Seo Yi-woo wants to keep Kwon Jae-jin alive is because he needs guiding.”
Whatever he does, it’s for guiding. Guiding from start to finish.
His words are so slick. He says he can’t kill Kwon Jae-jin, that he wanted to keep him alive. But in the end, isn’t the purpose just to exploit guiding?
“Even if I swear I’ll never willingly participate in guiding again, will you still value my life that much? I swear, from today onwards, I will never voluntarily agree to guide again.”
“Stop it, just… I told you to stop…!”
The stand light that was on flickered uneasily before the bulb burst. Seo Yi-woo’s power overflowed uncontrollably, lashing out wildly.
More violently and fiercely than usual. It spewed out in streams like a whipped ferocious beast.
The power, rising like smoke, shook the mansion and extended down to the ground beneath. Seo Yi-woo gritted his teeth to control it, but his emotions were already too intense to easily manage.
“Why? Is there a problem? Even if I don’t agree, you can force it, solve everything with your omnipotent power. Tie me up with handcuffs. Gag me and put a catheter in my damn hole! Just treat me like a tool, a machine to extract guiding from!”
“No, I… I hate it too…!”
Seo Yi-woo struggled to retract his power, his thick eyebrows furrowing. His glossy gray eyes burned hotly.
“I didn’t want to live as an Esper. Who would… Who would want this? S-class or whatever, I never wanted any of it. But then, Jae-jin, you… you showed up and… you gave me everything.”
Seo Yi-woo’s face, swollen and bleeding, trembled at the corners of his eyes.
“You made me want you. Made me live as an Esper, showed me how good guiding is, how much I want it. You changed everything! I finally feel like I’m living now! And you’re telling me you’ll die and leave me? How am I supposed to handle that?”
“Then! Damn it, if you like guiding so much! Restore my memory to its original state, or tie me up, do whatever the hell you want! Ha, yeah. Even erase my memory again. This time, don’t just skim over it, thoroughly wipe out everything in my head and succeed. Make another big hole, turn me into an idiot, and make me your convenient guiding slave. Tie me up as Seo Yi-woo’s exclusive guide, and treat me like livestock for the rest of my life! Use me as you please!!”
CRACK!
Despite Seo Yi-woo’s efforts to restrain himself, the mansion’s structure groaned and distorted. The walls split into two, and cement dust fell from the cracks. The bed shook precariously, but Kwon Jae-jin didn’t flinch.
What is there to fear for someone who is willing to die?
“Until Seo Yi-woo restores my family… I will never, absolutely, definitely not agree to guiding. Know that.”
“…”
“Think carefully. I’ll be waiting for your answer.”
***
It was an exceptionally cold and windy night.
Kwon Jae-jin had shut himself in the bedroom after driving Seo Yi-woo out, and Seo Yi-woo, fearing his rampaging powers might harm Kwon Jae-jin, had left to control them elsewhere.
Perhaps because it was in the mountains, the hoot of an owl could be heard in the distance. On a dark, cloudy night without moonlight, the eerie bird call made his already troubled mind even more unsettled.
It had been long past midnight, but Kwon Jae-jin naturally couldn’t sleep. He had been lying motionless on the bed like a dead man for hours, occasionally shifting to indicate he was still alive. Despite doing nothing, he felt increasingly drained as time passed.
Was it because he had said such things to Seo Yi-woo?
‘I’m too old to be acting like this.’
Of course, not everything he had said was his true feelings.
Saying things like making him a guiding slave or treating him like livestock… He had vented his anger because he knew Seo Yi-woo wouldn’t easily do such things. He had sensed what Seo Yi-woo wanted from him, even if he hadn’t said it out loud.
‘Just because the kid is cruel doesn’t mean I have to be equally cruel… But if I don’t do this, I’ll never get my memories back.’
He had gotten angry and acted harshly, but no matter how much he thought it over, he couldn’t let this go unresolved.
It meant he couldn’t just give in and do what Seo Yi-woo wanted, go along with his wishes again.
‘Otherwise… I’d be too pathetic.’
At least Kwon Jae-jin had the right to be angry.
He was a victim who had lost his family, after all. He couldn’t just let it go. It was too unfair, infuriating, and nauseating.
Nothing else mattered; Kwon Jae-jin had lost his family.
He had been stripped of his entire life, his roots, and his childhood background. Seo Yi-woo was like the enemy who had killed his parents. Should he have just endured it? Should Kwon Jae-jin have accepted Seo Yi-woo again, understood him?
Just because Seo Yi-woo hadn’t directly done it in this timeline, does that mean this Seo Yi-woo is innocent? That he is blameless?
‘Fuck…’
He didn’t know.
He really didn’t know. From earlier, every thought ended with “fuck.” No matter what he pondered, the conclusion was “fuck,” and no matter what he reflected on, the conclusion was “fuck.”
Everything is fucked. This fucking bastard. This fucking world. This fucking guiding and goddamn psychic abilities!
Let it all burn.
Let everything burn and disappear. Let the whole world perish and everyone die miserably.
If at this moment, Kwon Jae-jin were Seo Yi-woo, if he were an S-class Esper, he would genuinely not hold back, let his power explode, and willingly bring about a tragic and extreme end called a rampage.
He brushed his hair back roughly and buried his face deeply into the pillow.
It seemed unlikely he would sleep tonight.
He would probably stay up all night with his eyes open until morning. He wasn’t sleepy, nor was he hungry. He hadn’t eaten or drunk anything since dinner yesterday, but he didn’t feel hungry at all.
Just then, there was a knock on the closed bedroom door.
“Jae-jin. May I come in?”
It was Seo Yi-woo. He had been quiet for a while but had come to stir things up again.
Kwon Jae-jin didn’t respond, but Seo Yi-woo opened the bedroom door without permission. He then entered the room carefully, silently.
“Were you sleeping? I didn’t wake you, did I?”
He felt Seo Yi-woo’s presence approaching. Kwon Jae-jin ignored him, not even glancing his way.
Seo Yi-woo, undeterred, sat down by the head of the bed. The mattress sagged under his weight. With a body purely made of muscle, he weighed quite a bit.
“Jae-jin, you told me to leave, that you didn’t want to see me for a while… But I was worried. Afraid you might do something drastic again.”
What, self-harm?
Bite your tongue?
Kwon Jae-jin let out a breath in disbelief.
Seo Yi-woo, staring at Kwon Jae-jin with persistent eyes, unintentionally wrinkled his nose in distress.
Kwon Jae-jin looked too gaunt. His eyes, dark with fatigue, were hollow and his lips, unmoistened, were dry and cracked. His bloodshot eyes were still red and swollen. He clearly was not in a normal state.
“Jae-jin…”
Seo Yi-woo reached out his hand.
It was a hand extended out of pity and concern, wanting to comfort and soothe Kwon Jae-jin.
However, Kwon Jae-jin coldly and ruthlessly rejected Seo Yi-woo’s approach.
“What are you doing right now? Are you trying to guide with me?”
