#51
Jaejin, with bloodshot eyes, bared his teeth and sneered.
“I told you I wouldn’t guide you until your memories were restored. You seem quite determined, trying to touch me like it’s nothing, huh?”
“No, I…”
“If not, then move that finger away immediately.”
Having said all he wanted to, Jaejin pulled the blanket over himself. Instinctively, he realized there was nothing good to be gained from getting entangled with Seoui right now. Talking to him in the same room, on the bed no less, might make him lose the chance to recover his memories forever.
Seoui swallowed a bitter sigh as he watched Kwon Jaejin burrow into the blanket like a cocoon. He had just managed to calm his abilities, but Jaejin’s actions were unsettling him once more, stirring turmoil deep within.
“…Do you think I’m doing this just to guide you?”
Seoui placed his hand loosely on the crumpled blanket.
“Do you think that’s all I want?”
There was no chance of guiding with fabric separating their skin. Both knew that. Seoui’s hand traced along the contours of the cocooned Jaejin.
“Don’t say you know Seoui if this is how you act.”
He gently caressed the crumpled shoulder and carefully rubbed the curled back. Just as Jaejin was about to growl for him to stop, Seoui lay down on the bed, hugging Jaejin and the blanket tightly.
“…What are you doing? I told you to move.”
“I’m not going to guide you.”
Seoui searched for Jaejin’s waist buried in the blanket, his hand groping over the white fabric. Familiar with his place, his thick arm wrapped around Jaejin’s waist, trapping him firmly in his embrace.
“I won’t do anything. I won’t even talk. We’re going to sleep now.”
“What…?”
Jaejin questioned in disbelief, and Seoui responded calmly in his stern voice.
“We’re going to sleep. It’s time to sleep.”
Being close, one could tell.
Seoui’s insides were boiling just as much as Jaejin’s, with fierce thoughts rampaging through his mind.
It was obvious that he wasn’t in his right mind either, yet he wanted to sleep in this situation. Jaejin couldn’t fathom what Seoui was thinking.
“Stop talking and close your eyes now.”
“Mr. Seoui, are you playing a joke on me?”
“I told you to stop talking… Let’s sleep. I won’t touch you. You’re wrapped in the blanket, as you can see. No skin contact. No guiding effect. I won’t even touch a finger, so let’s just sleep.”
“What the hell…”
“I’ll put you to sleep.”
He began to pat Jaejin’s back.
Like soothing a baby swaddled in a cloth, he tenderly coaxed and comforted him. Jaejin struggled to get out of his arms, but his decision to cover himself with the blanket was a mistake; he couldn’t escape.
It was already difficult to get away if Seoui decided to hold him tightly.
“Let go. I’m not in the mood for jokes. Let go.”
“Hey, don’t struggle too much. The blanket will come off. You said you don’t want guiding.”
“Seoui.”
“I really have no other intentions. I just want to sleep with you. That’s all. I’ll just hold you like this.”
“…”
“Can’t you let this much slide? Did I ask for something big? Just to sleep together… Just this.”
“…”
“What, can’t you even do this? Now you don’t even like this trivial thing?”
“Hah, who would fall for such obvious tricks…”
Just as Jaejin was about to snap, he threw his head back, and the blanket covering his face slipped down, their cheeks touching.
“Ugh!”
Startled like someone burned, Jaejin shrunk down, curling up tightly.
“See? I told you not to struggle.”
“…Move. Seoui. Move and let go.”
“Goodnight, Jaejin.”
Seoui patted him like before. The already slow movements gradually slowed further and eventually stopped.
Seoui seemed to have… fallen asleep.
Jaejin couldn’t be sure, but it appeared Seoui had fallen asleep first, tightly hugging him. Or maybe he was just pretending to be asleep.
‘Ha. This bastard.’
Jaejin opened his mouth, determined to drive Seoui away harshly this time. He planned to shout since physical pushing might lead to skin contact again.
But then, something strange happened.
For some reason, his tongue wouldn’t move as he wanted.
The words he tried to spit out got stuck in his throat and wouldn’t come out.
He needed to yell at Seoui to let go, to stop being delusional and get out, but he couldn’t. Was it because his mind, exhausted to the limit, had reached its breaking point? Or because the position he was held in felt unconsciously familiar and welcoming?
Seoui was very detestable, and he didn’t want to see his face at all, but lying in bed with him now felt comfortable. This was Jaejin’s usual routine.
They had spent countless nights entangled like this, and he had no doubt they would continue to do so in the future.
How contradictory and shallow the human mind is.
“…”
Jaejin closed his lips, which had opened in anger, in humiliation.
Not long ago, he was sure he wouldn’t sleep tonight, but just the fact that Seoui was next to him naturally brought on sleepiness.
This shouldn’t be happening.
It shouldn’t be like this…
‘It’s not because of Seoui. It’s because I’m so tired that I’m about to pass out… Yeah, it’s just because I’m that exhausted.’
And thinking about it, recklessly kicking Seoui out of the bedroom wouldn’t solve anything. Living under the same roof with him, he couldn’t avoid him forever.
He might be able to stay holed up in the bedroom for a day or two, but eventually, he would have to come out. He had to eat. He had to shower. And as Seoui said, he had to sleep too…
Though there was no need to cling to the same bed…
‘I don’t know…’
I don’t know, damn it…
Once again, his thoughts ended with a curse.
Losing his resolve, Kwon Jaejin closed his eyes in defeat. Soon, his complicated thoughts subsided, and he fell deeply asleep as if sinking into a sticky swamp.
***
As usual, it was in the middle of the universe.
His consciousness had escaped to this dark, vast space again.
Saturn and its 82 moons lined up to greet Jaejin. Titan, Enceladus, Mimas, Dione, Iapetus, Tethys, Hyperion, Epimetheus…
Jaejin watched the stars with a feeling of helplessness. This space, completely unrelated to his twisted life, was quite useful.
Compared to this transcendent higher world, Jaejin’s existence was nothing but dust.
His worries, his troubled heart, all turned into nothing.
As he was absorbed in the universe, an unwanted voice sneaked in.
‘Jaejin, you like this kind of thing, huh…’
Seoui’s voice pierced deeply as if it were striking his eardrum. Startled, Jaejin quickly looked around.
Seoui, hiding far behind the barely visible sun, peeked out.
‘Can one come to the universe with coordinate movement? I’ve never tried, so I don’t know.’
This is a dream.
It’s just an illusion created by his subconscious, and that wasn’t the real Seoui.
Knowing this, Jaejin couldn’t suppress his impulse.
‘Seoui! What are you doing here?’
‘Huh?’
‘Why did you follow me here, you bastard…? Can’t you at least leave me alone in my dreams?!’
‘Well, it’s your dream, after all.’
‘Seoui, you wouldn’t know since you’re an Awakened, but in ordinary society, family… family is the one thing no one should touch. You broke that taboo publicly, and yet you shamelessly…’
Seoui, who had been hiding behind the distant sun, suddenly appeared in front of the raging Jaejin, disregarding the distance.
‘Haha. What are you talking about? I don’t understand.’
Seoui took Jaejin’s hand and spun him around.
Like the moment they were together on the blue sea.
They danced in circles in the universe, like ornaments on a music box.
‘It’s because it’s a dream.’
Seoui smiled brightly. His long eyes curved beautifully, and his white cheeks flushed like a peach.
Showing the youthful, clear face of a twenty-year-old, Seoui lightly kissed Jaejin’s lips as if stamping them.
‘You want to escape reality right now. You want to get away from fighting with me, getting angry, and hurting each other.’
The sensation of his lips pressing down felt strangely vivid.
Not only that, but even the feel of his thin, delicate eyelashes brushing against his cheeks was vividly felt.
‘You want to do this with me here, don’t you…’
end chapter
